All there is to know about life......

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
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OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

A creed to live by.......

A creed which I have lived by.

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
cling to them as you would your life;
for without them, life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip thru your fingers
by living in the past or for the future;
By living your life one day at a time,
you will live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over - until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than prefect,
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks,
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't dismiss your dreams-
to be without dreams is to be without hope,
to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run life so fast-
that you forget not only where you've been,
but also where you are going.

Don't shut love out of your life
by saying it's impossible to find;
the quickest way to receive love is to give love-
the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly-
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.